Seriously, “hum kis galli ja rahe hain??”
I was sitting in my cab last Monday grooving into one of the FM stations when this particular song struck the picture. Though its been a million times I’ve come across the lyrics of the song pouring into my ears, but never did I seem to take guard of what face does the lyrics make up? A student striving hard in his engineering graduation, who perhaps endures to pile up his passion in an altogether different world would chant, “hum kis gallii ja rahe hain..??”, or a self proclaimed “screwed soul” who’s fascination of turning into a bay with splashes of water, as friends, all around him being laddered down to reality once he turns up in college, would sing, “hum kis gallii ja rahe hain..??” Irrevocably, you wait for just the one moment of fame that may, or may not strike down on you; till then, it is absolutely darkness.
Is it “gruelling”, or is it something out-of-the-picture kind of a thing to track yourself down to some path that in no means drills down any contraception to the one you’re cruising along? It have been roughly 2 weeks since my minor examinations flipped past me (one of the alternate names to mid-semesters!), but dealing with them was the most excruciating inhibitions I ever came across! The reason was probably my escalated delve into the writing “thing” I had stamped my feet in. As time graduated, my passion had gained the nerve to sideline something I had initially wished to opt for as my career. It is an undoubted scenario to be concluded on, so I won’t get into how much I scored to prove my point! For a person who’s devoted and doesn’t put in any mind bending “focus loss” in alternating the lane in which he drives, probably it’s a scrutinizing act to be committed. “Prioritize man! That’s the only thing you require”, is one statement I get to hear every alternate day. I PRACTICALLY HAVE NO IDEA TO THE POINT I’M TYRING TO REVOLVE MY THOUGHTS IN, rather it is the way at least someone on this planet would be zipping off their cars. When one of the paths you can travel by breaks down, you tend to drift towards the other! Dreams; wishes; envisages are what shade the picture with their colours. You marvel of building your career into something out-of-the-box (and something that has its toes pointing to the one you’re currently designated in) even though you haven’t been trained for that…but its hard for people around you to digest this. Your advancement towards the particular track is sequentially, brought down from the clouds to the earth…AND ITS BACK SQUARE ONE, where you sing, “hum kis gallii ja rahe hain??”
Invading a wider spectrum, nothing in a college life is knitted with just the academic portion and the career oriented patches! Almost every person who steps into the college life fantasizes of pulling out the best of him and exploiting a paramount group to activate their minds in. The soul who has the nerve to mount himself over this mark unquestionably rocks throughout his tenure of 4 years, else he keeps drilling out water from the sands of the desert! How necessary is it for you to keep yourself alive, even though you detest the life your counterparts go through. If you find glory in matching your brains (not the DNA!) with the most “hep” people, it’s sure enough you’ve plunged out a group to be in. Or you keep stacking up desperate attempts oscillating throughout the circumference of the college, watching and trying to lurk your tongues to the flavours of “friendships” you’ve been kept away from! Eventually, you regret from having a dream turn down on you…and gradually people turn their eyes off you! You come up with the most bewildering of the expressions (or the excuses, both run parallel!) to catch up with “ANYONE’S” attention, but that’s as hard as sucking sweet nectar out of a rotten fruit! There’s no answer to the “WHY’S?” and the “HOW COME’S?” of this scenario.
Moreover, you run two minds instead of one. One tells you to stay in touch with people, the other pulls you away and wants you to strive all by yourself, probably excusing that you can do well without anyone hanging around you. People who tumble in this “survival for the fittest” among the two minds end up messaging people (or to say, just the “hi’s” and the hello’s kind of friends!) to keep their indulgences off from them (probably out of anguish and outrageous anger of having a void as the “best friend” to count on)…exuberating their toughness…and when the realizations rumble in a countable days away, its embarrassment that causes the further curse. The times when you desperately need someone to bequeath their shoulders for you to shed in your tears, all what you got is vacuum! Scrolling through the entire friends’ list doesn’t do any good as well, because you find no one. The tears stream through your cheeks, and the pain denies to abscond itself from you…but the practically still titles just you who’s burning into the fire of hell…hardly anyone notices the flood your tears have brought in (So why weep, huh??). With hours, and probably days of painstaking silence you fill your world with, pooling in just one thought, “Am I justified…what heckled life am I living? It surely isn’t any college that I dreamt to be in…” And a final trail to erase off the blunder you caused a week ago by practically screwing yourself for the same message is the only final touch that’s required to add to your insult…yet the question that always jabs to your shadow (yet its umpteen arduous to stand tall and ask the same category of people) is, “even after my apology, why don’t people accept me the way I want to be accepted by them…??”
It is just your perception that runs your world…